8 thoughts on “seldom

  1. Nicely done…. One suggestion, if I can; take out the first instance of the word “to” in the final stanza. It makes it much more powerful & clear…. ie,

    refocus your sights
    look past the horizon
    to the truth beyond

    It’s very good, as is, but, losing one word makes it even better, imho…. Well done, in any case….

    gigoid

    1. yeah it is better without the extra ‘to’…
      what do you think about “look past the horizon mist” so it still fits the haiku form? thanks for dropping by ^_^

      1. That’s a nice addition, better than what occurred to me, to add ‘ing’ to ‘look’…. I wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be haiku, so didn’t say…. either way, it’s good…

        🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s